When I wrote my last column, “It’s time for some race talk,” I felt so powerful during my fifteen minutes of fame. Emotional thoughts infused my brain, but I could not let it get the best of me. I had to be smart. Rational. I had to represent not only myself, but my other African American peers. I was their voice. Too many things were being said and not said, and I did not realize how angry I was about it until I started putting my words down on paper. However, my words are not enough.
I was truly flattered by all the feedback I received after the publishing my column. I knew I would get attention since it was going in the school newspaper, but I did not expect it to make it to the Easton Journal. However I came to the realization that I felt unworthy of the praise. I had received emails from peers I had not spoken to since elementary school. Someone even asked me if I would like to take action and go speak to our superintendent about all the hateful things they have heard since the beginning of high school. Even though I did read the email late, I feel as if I would not have gone anyways. There are so many other kids in my school who have so much more passion than I do and are willing to do more than just start a conversation. There are more kids who have personally experienced hate crimes or bullying and could stand up for this issue more than I can.
With all that said, that does not mean I am going to stop participating in the conversation. I feel as if I inspired people to do and say more. I gave them a voice and allowed them to open their eyes. I will never forget being at my cousin’s wedding and someone I am not that familiar with told me that they had read my column on facebook and they had showed it to their family at the dinner table. It became the topic of conversation. That was my overall goal with the column and I could not have been more proud of myself.
If I had to pick one thing I learned about myself from writing this column is that I need to care more and invest myself more in important issues such as race controversies, school shootings or anything else conflicting that is happening in the world. I noticed how important it is to be educated on things that are happening around you so that you can have a relevant opinion and engage in important discussion. Imagine trying to talk about the Holocaust and not knowing who the leader was. You would sound very uneducated and unaware of your own history. That is how I felt at the beginning of this whole situation. I felt so unaware of what was going on in my school and how administration was handling the vulgar scripture that was written on how gym bulletin board. I also did not feel totally offended at first because I was so blind to my history. Yes I know slavery existed, Yes I know about segregation, but I needed to remind myself that this is not something that I should just be brushing off. I needed to be offended. My ancestors worked way too hard to help me get to where I am today that it would be unfair to them if I didn’t do anything. It is hard to believe that one person can change the world but it is totally possible to just start a conversation.
Baby steps.
Destiny Barros is a columnist in the bi-weekly publication Destiny of OA